"For you it is required to forgive all men"

"Forgiving and forsaking offenses, old or new, is central to the grandeur of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

I love Elder Jeffrey R. Holland!

And this week's Come, Follow Me lesson is so timely that it is definitely something that I can apply. Forgiveness is hard, especially when trying to forgive oneself. I can't even explain how hard it is to forget my past transgressions and how depressing it is to always think how inadequate I am and that I have not been forgiven by God.

Well, that is what the adversary wants me to think.

God is a merciful and just God if we choose to earnestly repent and to come unto Him with an open heart and willing mind. He is willing to withhold eternal punishment if we humble down and seek to follow His will. How great is the infinite Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ - A constant reminder how God loves us and is willing to help us to become perfect as He is despite our imperfections.

"Surely each of us could cite an endless array of old scars and sorrows and painful memories that this very moment still corrode the peace in someone’s heart or family or neighborhood. Whether we have caused that pain or been the recipient of the pain, those wounds need to be healed so that life can be as rewarding as God intended it to be."

It is very motivating to know that if we forgive others or even ourselves, we can enjoy the peace and the good things that life has to offer. Anger and pride definitely hinders them. It causes too much stress if we constantly think of the offenses that we've given and taken. And the Lord even gives us the warning that if we do not forgive, we are in greater damnation than the one who had offended us. We wouldn't want that now, would we?

Easier said than done. But I know that time heals all wounds. And that with the Lord's help we can overcome our weaknesses and the imperfections of others. We could not do it alone. We need guidance from the Master Healer, Comforter, Redeemer.

And I share this in Jesus' name, Amen.

Blogging Decisions

 I finally decided to stick to this blog for my post-mission experiences as the other blog is more focused on my preparation and what happened during my mission. Since I couldn't really update my blog while on the mission, I decided to the letters I sent to my family during that time for my experiences.

So here I am, done redesigning this blog. Hoping to share more experiences soon.

My First Attempt on Digital Faceless Portrait

I have seen it multiple times on the web but I didn't really know how to... There were offers of doing a personalized one for a fair price but I just couldn't be brave enough to pay for it, my husband being a "prudent" person as well who focuses on buying needs more than wants.

So I made an attempt to do one yesterday after seeing a friend do it. I looked for apps and tutorials online. I was able to come up with this.

Not bad for a first time. My desired output was to show us 3 wearing white in preparation for our Family's temple sealing this coming May 7th, days short of my 31st Birthday. It's one of the greatest gifts my husband and Heavenly Father could give me this year even though there's still a pandemic going on.

App used:

Picsart

It's conference week!

 Just sharing my post on facebook here. :)

As I was preparing for the lesson in our virtual Primary Class, I came across this video that was part of an initiative that our Church had a few years ago before I came home from my mission. I was one of the missionaries who gave a mission-wide training on the initiative.

As I re-watched the video, I am reminded of my testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ and His Atonement, of how it has blessed my life significantly and that I wouldn't be where I am today because of it.

Next Sunday will be General Conference Weekend (we will be watching the rebroadcast the week after), and also Easter Sunday. Let us all be spiritually prepared to listen to the Lord's appointed servants/messengers. May we all find answers to our life's questions this coming weekend.

General Conference will be available live and online at churchofjesuschrist.org. For the Philippines, it will be rebroadcasted through GTV on Friday, Saturday and Sunday afternoon. I invite everyone to join us as we celebrate Easter by being nourished with prophetic messages.

New Look, New Chapter

 So, I've decided to create a new look for my blog today and it was a good thing that my dad put me into the printing station to do so. It gave me some time to edit some of my pictures to create the pinkish look that it has today. Well, for the love of pink, I'm obsessed with it as my favorite color.

I can't believe that time flies by so fast and I have been home for 4 months now. But this past month has been wonderful. I found someone whom I know has a huge possibility that I could be with for time and all eternity. And what's amazing about it is that I get to do the same routine things that I did on my mission. Personal Study, Companionship Study, (now weekly) Temple Attendance, and Church Attendance, Personal and Companionship Prayers. We've been keeping ourselves spiritually and temporally prepared for the goal of one day to be sealed in the Temple.

As all good things, there are also some oppositions in our relationship and our goals. Being both in our mid-20s, both of our sides of the family would want us to find job opportunities out of the country. Both of us are Registered Nurses aside from being both Returned Missionaries. But we also felt that there was something that we needed to do here before heading out. We also experienced our own inner pressures, our naturalism, our carnal natures that sometimes hinders us from reaching that goal. But we keep fighting through it. Together.

Anyway, I haven't used my own laptop yet to publish posts on here 'coz we've been pretty busy. And that also explains why I haven't been online much.... :)

The Challenge of Choosing an Eternal Companion

 I sat in front of this computer for hours being lightheaded and using all of the brain juice that I could use before my Missionary Preparation class this afternoon. I've thought about this a great deal ever since coming home from my mission and I never thought that I would making such a huge decision sooner than I expected.

After much prayer, pondering and fasting, I've done the things that I invited my friend in France to do. I told him, with your many options, write down the qualities that you've noticed, liked or learned about your potential choice, then ponder and pray about each one. I've prayed about this friend before, and it felt right, good. I thought he was going to be the one since I never had options to begin with and we knew that our conversations were going somewhere, but it didn't feel right to draw a line that time. So I was open to other options.

Well, best friend came. After 3 months of less-activity, he FINALLY came back to church with some visits with friends and me trying to pull him back into the fold. The progress was fast as we talked more about the gospel and about the Atonement, then the next thing happened, dating in the temple, spending time as much as we could, and the feeling that I am right where I needed to be. No "you have to be more patient". It was just right.

Having this other option in some way troubled me and I didn't want to make the wrong decisions. I've prayed, pondered, fasted, read the scriptures, read teachings of the modern prophets, asked friends of the same standards, asked younger friends what they thought, the whole stake became in it (in an indirect way and because it is through them that things intensified). I wrote down the qualities that I could compare between these two friends and then with all of the guides that I have gathered, I made a final choice.

It was and always will be the most difficult choice that YSAs would face and make especially in these trying times that standards and moral values are becoming lowered and less important. We need to find worthy spouses that could take us to the temple and be with us through thick and thin for time and all eternity. In order to do that, you have to be comfortable and to trust your to-be-spouse in all aspects (whether or not you are married or still in the courtship stage). People don't really change in marriage, the either become better or worse in the qualities they possess. I see marriage as a mission, and a greater mission at that.

In closing, I just wanted to share a favorite quote said by Elder Lynn G. Robbins of the Seventy regarding finding (or choosing) and Eternal Companion:

"Your success in marriage will depend largely on your ability to focus on improving yourself, rather than trying to reshape your spouse. It will depend more on being the right one than finding the right one. There is greater power in giving than in getting. Pure love “seeketh not her own” (1 Cor. 13:5; Moro. 7:45). The Savior is wise; His wisdom is beyond ours. We should trust Him. He is never wrong.

'In selecting a companion for life and for eternity,' said President Kimball, 'certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that, of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong. In true marriage there must be a union of minds as well as of hearts' (1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year, 144)."

 ^_^

Discovering the Fruits of your Labors

 Today was a very special day at Sacrament Meeting...

A lot of things just transpired today and somehow the highlight of today's meeting became evident when we realized that one of the people that my mom taught when she was a young missionary is now one of the stake high councilmen.

I guess it all started with a lot of things running through my head when we were singing hymn #266 "The Time is Far Spent". The speakers' topic was about baptism. Memories came by that every time we sang that song on Temple Square, there is always a group chuckle. Why? It's President Paul Harman's favorite hymn. And it is a constant reminder that the time that we have to serve as full-time missionaries is but a short-moment. I can't help but chuckle as I conducted the song today and looking at my best friend, he was laughing with the same memories as well in a different scenario. Another thing that came to my mind was that the time is far spent to wait until we are ready to get married. Hahaha. Not a really good thought but somehow, I knew that I'm getting to that point of saying I am having a different feeling.

ANYWAY, going back. When Brother Baclayon of the Stake High Council stood up to speak as a concluding speaker, he shared of his conversion story of how he got to know the church and what kept him standing today. I never really paid so much attention because of the memories of the mission but one thing that definitely stood out to me when he mentioned my mother's maiden surname. He said that when he was still 16 years old, he remembered that missionaries always came to his house and would do family home evening. He was grateful for the missionaries. He somehow mentioned my mom, then Sister Cruz (with the description that she is the wife of Brother Ngo of the High Council - my dad) would visit his family and sometimes conduct family home evenings. He ended up getting baptized in 1991, about 3 years after my mom was assigned in Arlington.

My mom's reaction was priceless. She couldn't remember a thing and she just had this surprised look on her face. I was amused and amazed at the same time with the thought and I reminded myself that as a missionary, we can never really see the fruits of our labors until many years later. It reminded me of a scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 18:15-16 which says:

15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!

 16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

It was the coolest thing that I have ever witnessed in my life. The Church is True!

Another Night... I can't sleep

 Here I am again...

Ever since I got this laptop this morning, I never let go of it except for the time when my dad had to reformat it and put the necessary drives and programs that I wanted. Now, I'm waiting for some of my mission photos to finish getting uploaded on Facebook and waiting for some songs to be imported from another computer to this device.

Once again, looking at my mission pictures made me feel how much I missed being a missionary. But somehow life must go on and the things learned from those 18 months must somehow be applied in my everyday decisions. Although it was quite frustrating to learn that my mom still thinks that I think like my father who, in her view, doesn't really know how to think things differently. I, in a way, object to that because who I am and how I think now is a product of those 18 months in Salt Lake City, Utah and Athens, Monroe and Loganville, Georgia. I do acknowledge and accept that there are still a lot of things to improve on. Going to sleep early, for one, is an example.

I haven't had enough sleep for the past 3 nights. The first night was because I miss my mission. I miss becoming a missionary. I miss the experiences and I want to experience it again. What triggered it was watching a video by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, entitled "How can we feel the same joy we felt in our missions?" Elder Holland is always spot on. He definitely became my favorite Apostle throughout my mission. The second night was just that things were going through my head. This was last night. My best friend and I were together and I ended up didn't feel like going to bed because of it. I always enjoyed being in his company, even though we never really knew what was going to happen to the two of us and where our time spent was going as well. Both of us, being the same age of 25, somehow still didn't feel we are ready for a commitment... yet.

Then here's tonight. Not really a good enough reason to stay up late but do I really have a choice?

Hope I would be able to get through this next week before the temple opens again.

My Very First Post-Mission Post

 I can't believe I haven't been posting much and I have been home for 3 months now...

Being a returned missionary is not easy. This is the time when everything that you have learned from those 18 months to 24 months of experiences are put to use. Life is a roller coaster. It will always be. Sometimes you are able to apply the things you've learned, sometimes you don't. Sometimes there are twists, sometimes things go the way you wanted it to.

Well, even as a returned missionary, you still learn a lot. And I have posted a document called "Thoughts and Lessons that I learned as a Returned Missionary" that a wrote a month or so being home from those sacred moments.

To update you all on things...

First things first, with all the wedding bells that are circulating my Facebook page and some of my closest friends have already tied the knot, I haven't. I mean, I have no boyfriend, no fiance... so there is no wedding happening this year as far as I know. I do have potential candidates. In fact, if you would call it "dating", I am spending time with my best friend whom I haven't seen for 3 years (and 4 months as he would add) because he was already out around a year and some months when I got my mission call to serve.

Second, I am currently working as a nurse at a small clinic. (This reminds me that I might be closing down my other blog and focus on this one instead). The Salary is not that much but at least I still get some income somehow and buy the things I need to buy... (and save some money for the future).

Third, I constantly yearn to feel the Spirit. Because of that, I try as much as possible to keep my studies in tact. I have been reading the Book of Mormon, as much as possible, everyday. I also have callings as a Young Single Adults Teacher for Sunday School, Missionary Preparation Teacher for Institute, and Stake Public Affairs Writer.

So far, I have enjoyed (with some huge downhills almost every week) life being a returned missionary.

Well, I will try to update this blog as much as possible from now on... hahaha.

- Rie.

View from my early morning jog today with my best friend. :P

Got Home From MNL

So as to avoid duplication of posts... you can find out what happened the past few days in my other blog by clicking here. So what I will be posting below will probably be some random pics and... pictures of the sky... hahaha

P.S. I felt lazy to post my drawings here so just check them out at my deviantart.com account here.

XDD

It’s not About “How”, but “Why”

The following story is half-fiction and half-true... Won't tell you about the fiction or the true part though... hahaha... I made this for my brother as his English project. :)

P.S. Names are based from... you guessed it right, my gm group... except for John though, who is the brother-in-law of.... XD

New Drawings!!!

So last night despite being very tired, I couldn't sleep and decided to have the artist in me work through my hands and draw some things for a couple of friends plus a bonus. I was so excited that I was able to finish the drawings in about an hour. And I made a bonus drawing for myself .

"Jane" in progress.

For my drawings, I just used Mongol pencils. I used Mongol no. 1 first then darken the details with Mongol 3 until I eventually found my Mongol no. 2 under my bed.  It's good to have different kinds of pencils, but if you really want to have a good drawing, I recommend Stadler products or Stabilo pencils.

For inking, I either use an ordinary ballpoint pen, a dong-a My Gel pen or my Mitsubishi uni pin 0.8 Fine line pen. It can be messy at first but more practice is needed to get a clean and accurate outlining. I'm not perfect with this either.

For coloring, I just used Adobe Photoshop CS6. So basically that applies to all of my drawings. :)

So check out my finished products at my drawings page... the bottom part are my latest drawings... so enjoy. :)

COVERS!!!!

So after listening to music, (which is basically one of my passion), I've decided to do covers. I kinda miss singing alot. But just voice covers for now. I don't have a good quality video cam to support them. XD

So I'm planning to set up an account at soundcloud so you guys could listen to them. For video covers (which I'm planning to make soon), they will be posted here. I'll try doing a lot of collabs with my musician friends... I borrow instrumentals from youtube for solo covers though. XD So stay tuned.

Vanity strikes when Boredom Arrives.

So honestly, like I said in my previous post, I don't really post pictures...
... one, this is because it's mostly selfies. XD

I attended the PEC meeting earlier to present about the Christmas pageant as the chairman. Afterwards, I've been excused since it was a PRIESTHOOD meeting and it's quite awkward to have a Sister present. So while waiting for my dearly beloved father to be done, I ended up taking selfies using my dad's old iphone.

I admit, I'm prettier when I fix myself with simple make-up. Hahaha, perks of being a young adult, but I kinda wished I'm back to being a teenager again. People say I still look like one though. Do I look 18 years old to you?

I took more selfies than this. And since today is Sunday, I get to look my best. I only do eyeliner during Sundays since it gives me enough time to do it. I look fresher here than how I look now because this was taken around 8 am. Just 2 hours after taking a bath. XD.

Of all the selfie pictures I took, these three are quite my favorite. The upper left picture was really a stolen shot because I was looking at my sister's friend Maurice Rabanes when I accidentally touched the capture button, which actually gave the genuine effect of the expression. I love the outcome though. Lower left is something quite random. The right side though, depicts that I miss my long hair. Doing that post made me look like I had my hair grown longer.

So since I'm making this post at 10am... it's as short as my latest post in my other blog. XD I may be posting tonight to tell you guys what happened the rest of the day. It will sure be spiritual.

Happy Sabbath! :)

Nurse Rie.

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder...

Selfie Shot at work. XD

It's either I'm a frustrated model or a frustrated photographer.

Honestly, I don't really see myself as pretty. But after my twin Nathan told reminded me that beauty is skin deep, it made me remember the confidence I have for myself. I'm not really the photogenic type. Not all angles agree to my liking. But then again, I feel confident of myself despite having a lot of insecurities. Why? I know I am beautiful. I don't need to be blind to see it, I could feel it in my heart. This is what Heavenly Father has given me and I sure am proud of it. Friends say that I am beautiful inside and out and I guess I could agree with that without really boasting.

I know not everybody finds me attractive. I'm okay with that. I'm okay with being the simple human being that I am, not much with the fashion sense that I get envious with other girls or even not much of a girly girl. Sometimes being too beautiful or pretty has it's downside, but I learn to appreciate what I have rather than be jealous of what I don't have. God loves me either way.

Dinner with family last Sunday.

I don't usually post photos in my blog because for the fact that 1. I'm not very much fond of posting my fashion sense, which in most people's taste, is kinda outdated. I'm just the type of person who just loves to be in just t-shirt and jeans and not much be in miniskirts and all that without being to conscious at how I look. I have more problems than that. But yes, sometimes I need to learn how to take care of myself. As long as I feel clean and look like myself, I need not to worry.

I dream of marrying a photographer. XD Not so that I could get a hold at a DSLR camera or become his model or somewhat. I somehow want to see his view on beauty. If what beauty really is for him and if it is the same perspective that I have. But that's not really the point of this whole post.

So basically, those are just my thoughts for today. We need not to be sexy, white or slim just to be considered beautiful. All we need to do is just take care of ourselves, do good, do the best that we can and be appreciative of what God has given us. Always know that you are beautiful inside and out no matter what other people say. Always have your chin up high and smile. You're prettier if you smile. :)

And So...

I vomited. I think my body could only consume up to 3 glasses of Calamansi Juice (those small little lemon thingy... I don't know the English name for it but we call it Calamansi here which is equivalent to Lemonade in the western hemisphere.) I hate being sick. I hate having this 2 week cough with unknown etiology... It certainly is not the viral or bacterial type. My phlegm (thank goodness) remain to be white. So my dad* says it's probably just allergic reaction. I can't sing with this natural occuring reflexes. XD But what's a miracle though, it's been long since I had my last real fever (3rd year in Nursing School).

*note: My dad is an engineer / frustrated pilot / frustrated doctor.

So as you can see, I changed my header for those who have been to this blog (obviously, none of you has ever been here had I not made it public. XD). I also changed the background. Won't give you before and after screen caps because honestly, I'm too lazy to do them.

Time check: 10:19pm.

My sister's listening to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball". I have to admit, the song's good and all and Miley did put some emotion to it, but it just isn't my type of music. I'm more Christian but then sometimes I go for noise (pop rock or something like Paramore, Hey Monday and the like.) Sorry for the term. It's music for me but some of the church leaders consider them noise due to loudness and tempo and sometimes it draws away the spirit kinda thing... but that depends really on 1. how you control the volume of your earphone, 2. As long as you don't worship and or give deep meaning to the lyrics in your life, and 3. you just keep it to yourself and not disturb others. Somehow, I find Paramore songs safe for me, I'm just worried about those double meaning lyrics though.

Aside from "Wrecking Ball", my sister also gave me the LSS (last song syndrome) with "Dumb Ways to Die" Theme song. One fun but annoying fact, every time my sister sings, I get LSS with it. Sister thing... nah, it also happens with my brothers. It's usually that they pick catchy songs and a few minutes later, I find myself singing it or humming it. Dang it cartoons and silly childhood stuff (including unnecessary violence that they were not supposed to watch.)

So basically, that's just about it. Time to update my other blog.

Happy World Teacher's Day!

And thank goodness that my mom's a teacher!

And my mom is the most beloved teacher. So there's Ice Cream here and cake! Two things that I miss the most on special occasions. Anyway, after that thought draining story that I posted earlier, I needed a break and I am so grateful for the sweets. ^^

hahaha. XD

Happy world teacher's day to all teachers...

Everything Has Changed

So... Ever since I heard this certain song, I can't help but fall in love with it and scenes came running through my mind of a young female adult. It seemed to run so fast that the love story of that certain girl was brief but then amazing. I kinda pictured myself in her place and I'm pretty sure that guy was good looking. Anyway, enough introduction... here's the story. And I'll be trying my hardest to make a good story while repeating the song.

P.S. This story is entirely fictional. XD This story is inspired with the song by Taylor Swift.

Facebook / Netizen Issues

Okay, honestly, I don't really mind about what's going on in the world right now. But that doesn't mean I don't care...

By seeing the news yesterday, a certain Facebook User gave a racist comment about Filipinos when Ms. Megan Lynne Young, representative of the Philippines, won Miss World 2013 out of 126 contingents. And being half-Filipino myself (a part of me being Chinese), I was proud of another achievement garnered by the country despite the political issues regarding the pork barrel scam and the MNLF attack in Zamboanga City during the past days. At least that cheered us up disregarding all negativity that we see in the news today.

Now, going back to the first statement of the previous paragraph, I was trying to resist the urge to make a comment and was just trying to figure out what she exactly said that caused Filipino (and possibly other nationalities) Netizens the rampage, only to find out that her statement was indeed not just racist... but very insulting to the credibility of the Filipinos.

This post would be a two-sided point, both for Ms. Devina DeDiva (the alleged racist user... I wonder if this is even her real name or just another troll) and for the Filipino Netizens who are in defense of such an insulting comment.

First off, to Ms. DeDiva, I wonder why you made such insulting remark against Filipinos and why you have not even a slight conscience to apologize. You treat us as if we're not human beings and as if we have no feelings. I understand that you have a right and a freedom to share your opinion because this is a democratic planet but I feel sorry that you are abusing such right and freedom. As a Filipino, I feel hurt and insulted with such remark. I understand why you called us "maids" because that is the common work that Overseas Filipinos have. The correct term though is "Domestic Helpers". There's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's a noble job since these Filipinos sacrificed their quality time with their families to work outside the country just to support them. It's a sad reality for us to face.

Calling us uneducated in general insults us Filipino Professionals. Most of us in this country are Engineers, Nurses, Doctors, Chefs and other profession that you also see in your own country. Even though we may be a "poor" country, but citizens are striving for economic growth. We don't just "clean toilets", and we are not smelly because we take a bath everyday. We sacrificed and worked a lot of hours just to give our present and future generation a better education that would cope up to the changing world. And when you said "Maids are not to looked down upon." You are such an insensitive person. I hope your parents taught you well and has not taught you to display your attitude in such a manner... It's really a shame that you are somehow expressing yourself in such a way that people (especially Filipinos) to disrespect you and did no harm to you.

Second, to my fellow Filipinos. Let us stop wasting time fighting with her. It's her opinion. I know that we are hurt and degraded but what good will it give if we just kept on hating on and bashing her. I know that we need to defend ourselves and our dignity but it is not through social media rampage. Let us just work hand-in-hand to prove her wrong and not letting anger fill us up that we will actually become just like her, insensitive and ignorant. She is also a person who may or may not know what she is saying. If she does, then that is her judgment. Let us not stoop down to her level. And as I have observed, she is not willing to even give what we're asking for, an apology. So why should we even bother. Leave her alone, all this rampaging is making her famous, which is what she wants. Let us just pray for her as a Christian country. We have more bigger issues than this. We are Christians. We believe in the teachings of our Saviour. Revenge is not the Christian way, rather, we must learn to be humble and to forgive. We must approach her with kindness and care despite the hurt.

I hope I have said enough.

Nurse Rie.

Some STUFF... XD

A day after making and redesigning my blogs (by the way, I might be changing the background of this blog soon), I started talking to my bestfriend Jyles again... and telling him I've been working on some stuff... and when  I mean stuff, I meant THIS stuff. *giggle*

The past days were pretty crazy. My twin (by heart, mind and spirit), Jon Nathan Ray Aldemita received his mission call last Sunday and he will be happily serving in PHILIPPINES URDANETA MISSION starting November 22, 2013 (I should've posted this on my other blog). It was quite crazy for the fact that we were, like, conversing the whole day about it. He was really more nervous than excited when he got his call... maybe because most of the people around him were very excited (including me).

Another crazy thing, I felt like drawing last night so I drew, and I happened to finish 2 chibis and 1 random girl anime last night in 3 hours. I'll be posting the drawings in my drawings page... XD so make sure to check that out. I'm currently at work now.

So basically, that's just about it. Worked out on the new wallpaper for the computers here at our small shop and I realized how much I have this attraction to cherry blossoms. Maybe because of the color pink and I LOVE pink. XD.

Soooo... that's all. More updates soon.

P.S. Last Thursday was my bestfriend Charisse's birthday, and I super love this photo taken by her cousin and my good friend RK Navales. Though blurred, there's some artistic thought behind it and you can find my explanation and thoughts here. :) and here is the photo.

♥ Nurse Rie