P.S. This story is entirely fictional. XD This story is inspired with the song by Taylor Swift.
"All I knew this morning when I woke...
Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before..."
The song kept playing in my head as I listened to my playlist. When is this bus going to move? I checked the time, it was 8:30am. We should've left 30 minutes ago, I thought. But I never really minded because I was enjoying my lonely world in that bus with my music playing on my tablet.
"Hello..."
I hear a faint voice behind the music. I opened my eyes and saw this smiling face looking at me. There was something in his smile that made me think I saw an angel. Am I in heaven? did something happen to the bus? how did I get here?
"Sorry to have disturbed your meditation but I would like to ask if this seat is reserved?" he politely said with that angelic smile of his. I suddenly became self-conscious. I'm having this picture in my head that I must've had my mouth wide open when he giggled. "Is everything okay?" I was just staring at his wonderful dark brown eyes. "Lee, it's like you've seen a ghost. Hello... Lee?" Upon hearing my name, I suddenly snapped back to reality and shook my head and he took the seat next to mine. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. It's been long since I've last seen you." I told him. He just kept smiling, "I know...So how did your mission go?" He asked. "It was okay. Fun, despite the stress. and you? how's your studies? Are you working?" He just smiled and said "Doing okay." "I'm surprised you're here. You usually don't go to these activities." I said.
"Well, there's room for change. After you left, it's like everything has changed..."
"huh? why's that?"
"I don't think I could tell you at this moment."
"Oh... okay. So, you're dating someone?"
"No... but I'm eyeing on someone..."
"Is that someone I know?"
"Yes."
"oh, she must be pretty..."
"Yes, she is... but I think I still don't deserve her..."
"Why?..."
Then the conversation went silent when he just smiled and shook his head. He sure did change after all these years that I've been away. I was wondering why. There was something different with him. It's like his aura has changed, his countenance. When we arrived in our destination, we bumped into each others shoulders and we stared for each other for like a minute. I felt my cheeks get warm. "uhm... sorry. So... let's get registered and find our respective rooms then." He nodded and we didn't talk for a short while.
When I walked in my room, I placed my things at a bed and lied down. I breathe in deep then sat up and took my guitar and practiced the song I've listened to earlier... "I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now..." I started to sing. I closed my eyes and imagined his smiling face that I saw earlier. I could somehow feel the song, then I heard another voice calling out, "Lee! It's lunch time!" I placed my guitar down, headed out and saw my bestfriend calling me. "Let's go." I went with her to the dining area.
When I stepped in, I saw him sitting down and talking to some of his friends then his eyes caught mine. He smiled and I smiled back. I heard my friend giggle. "Ah... so it's him." She said. I shook my head. "nah, I don't think so. Knowing him, he's not ready for me." then we sat down to eat our lunches.
So the afternoon activities went on and we had some small contact, talking with group of friends then talking to each other. We shared some few laughs and he was the same joker I knew, yet somehow, less perverted than before. I was teasing him with other prettier girls even though it hurt me deep down, but he seemed to liked it but he kept denying. Surprising though, during those times, he used to keep our old sweet endearment that we had before I left for my mission. But I just pretended to be deaf about it.
The next day were workshops and I decided to attend the "courtship and dating" workshop since I recently returned from my mission. He was there, also being one and he sat down near me. This whole time of the workshop, I kept staring at him but when it was his turn to look at me, I turn back to the speaker. I was quite a little worried when the speaker said, "Okay, let's have a little activity, I want the brethren to pick out the sisters they wanted to dance with tonight with what you've learned through today's workshop." He suddenly turned to me and smiled then turned to look for someone else. I felt my heart crack for a moment there but I have prepared myself for this. Why would I even think that he would pick me out of a lot of pretty girls out there. I tried to excuse myself from the workshop, pretending to be going to the restroom but decided to take a detour to my room and drown myself in my music.
Dance Socials at 6:00pm. I just hope I won't be able to suffer that dreadful moment. I started to pack up since we would be leaving early the next morning and I just thought of staying inside the room for the whole night. I sudden;y heard a knock on the door and it turned out to be my bestfriend. She was quite shocked as to why haven't gotten myself dressed and prepared. "I'm not in the mood."
"But you have got to be there."
"And what? Sit on a corner and watch others dance?"
"You'll have fun at the group dances."
"No thanks."
"Lee... just try. I'm sure somebody's out there to dance with you."
"I just don't feel like it"
"For me?"
I just couldn't resist her. So I decided to prep up and go. She helped me fix myself up and when we got there, people stared and greeted me, complimenting me that I look pretty. Then I saw him there, talking to whom could be his date for the night. I felt my heart shatter but maintained my composure. I had a few dances until I once again excused myself to get some fresh air. I went as far back towards the beach and walk by the shore bare footed. Then I closed my eyes and prayed with my heart to be strong enough to let everything go since I knew all this would eventually happen as they used to be.
"Lee..." I turned to look at him at his formal attire. He slowly walked towards me as I stood there and looked at him. "I was looking all over for you. One moment I saw you at the dance then suddenly you disappeared. I went to your room, it was empty..." I just looked at him and I felt my heart beating fast. "Is there something wrong?" "Nothing..." was all I could utter. He suddenly took my hand "I know there's something wrong. I know that when you're all serious like this, you feel something you're trying to hide. I know you... you're not good at hiding things." I looked at the waves of the see when he placed his hand on my cheeks. "Love..." he started. "I'm not that same girl you knew..."
"I know."
I looked into his eyes in surprise. "That's why when you were away, I'm trying to prepare myself and be better." I stared at him as he talked. "That moment I saw you at church, I knew you've raised your standards even higher. I knew back then that I didn't deserve you, that I didn't deserve what you felt for me. But you are special and you will always be special. I didn't want to hurt you. Doing so would lose you even as a friend. When you said you wanted me to wait for you, I couldn't risk it. When you left, I realized I need to be better so that I could have you. So that you could stay." I was still speechless but my heart was beating twice it's normal rate. "I decided to come because I knew you were coming. I missed you. Then yesterday at the bus, you were the first person that I saw, you were alone and listening to your music, the typical you. But I was nervous because... I was scared that maybe you won't be talking to me because you know who I was before." I continued to listen to him as he spoke. "When I saw you, I knew you'd be the girl I want to be with. Then when we talked, I knew everything between us has changed."
"It has..." It was finally my turn to speak. "I noticed that there was something different about you... but that couldn't be me. No, I saw you with someone else." he intertwined his fingers with mine. "After you left, it's like everything has changed..." he repeated. "It changed because I don't treat other girls the same as you did. You were my bestfriend. Actually, you were more than that. You understood me, you tolerated my mischiefs. When you left, I knew I won't be experiencing those kinds of things anymore, so I need to do something..."
"but you said you were eyeing on someone, and when you asked her to the dance, I thought it was her."
"She was a decoy, so that you won't be able to notice anything until the right time comes... I wanted to save the last dance... for you."
"I somehow find that hard to believe."
"I know deep inside, you do believe it."
"I'm scared."
"Remember what you shared to me? 1 John 4:18"
"Perfect love casteth out fear..."
"I love you..."
He pulled me closer and hugged me. I hugged him back and tears started to roll down my eyes and I whispered "I love you too..."
Then we kissed under the starry night.
We went back to the dance and he offered to dance with me that night. We talked and and from that moment on I could see what changes he made just to become better for me... and for the Lord. I knew that I he tried everything so that he would be worthy of that love that I've been reserving for that very special someone. I knew the moment I saw him that he was a better person that before.
And I knew from that point... Everything has changed.